• 12 Tone Scale-The thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer truck with
  
• A 440 - The highway that runs around Nashville
  
• Aeolian Mode - How you like Mama's cherry pie
  
• Altos-Not to be confused with Tom's toes, Bubba's toes or Dori-toes
  
• Arpeggio - "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?"
  
• Bach Chorale - The place behind the barn where you keep the horses
  
• Bass - The things you run around in softball
  
• Bassoon - Typical response when asked what you hope to catch, and when
  
• Big Band - When the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players
  
• Bossa Nova - The car your foreman drives
  
• Cadenza - That ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes
  
• Cello - The proper way to answer the phone
  
• Clarinet - Name for your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo
  
• Clef - What you try never to fall off of
  
• Bass Clef - Where you wind up if you do fall off
  
• Conductor - The man who punches your ticket to Birmingham
  
• Cut Time - Parole
  
• Cymbal - What they use on deer-crossing signs so you know what to sight-in your pistol with
  
• Diminished Fifth - An empty bottle of Jack Daniels
  
• First Inversion - Grandpa's battle group at Normandy
  
• French Horn - Your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.
  
• Major Scale - What you say after chasing wild game up a mountain: "Damn! That was a major scale!"
  
• Melodic Minor - Loretta Lynn's singing dad
  
• Minor Third - Your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling
  
• Order of Sharps - What a wimp gets at the bar
  
• Passing Tone - Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues
  
• Perfect Fifth - A full bottle of Jack Daniels
  
• Perfect Pitch - The smooth coating on a freshly paved road
  
• Pianissimo - "Refill this beer bottle"
  
• Portamento - A foreign country you've always wanted to see
  
• Quarter Tone - What most standard pickups can haul
  
• Relative Major - An uncle in the Marine Corps
  
• Relative Minor - A girlfriend
  
• Repeat - What you do until they just expel you
  
• Ritard - There's one in every family
  
• Sonata - What you get from a bad cold or hay fever
  
• Staccato - How you did all the ceilings in your mobile home
  
• Tempo - Good choice for a used car
  
• Time Signature - What you need from your boss if you forget to clock in
  
• Transpositions - Men who wear dresses
  
• Treble - Women ain't nothin' but
  
• Tuba - A compound word: "Hey, woman! Fetch me another tuba Bryll Cream!"
  
• Whole Note - What's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year

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